“Tell me who your friends are, and I will tell you who you are.”
The words hit me like a bag full of Idaho potatoes falling off of a pick up truck. I was in High School and was sitting at a leadership conference with a couple of hundred ‘future leaders of America’ or whatever the tag line was for the conference that day. I was lucky enough to have been in the Associated Student Body (ASB, Student Government… whatever they call it where you are from) and one of the perks was getting out of class to go and socialize with teens from other schools. I remember a lot of these pep rally type motivational speakers that ran the school circuit. There was ‘Mr. Chocolate’ the gangster that turned his life around and morphed in front of our eyes from a saggy pants, head band and big shirt wearing gang banger to a yuppie. There was the guy that could rip through a phone book, who even taught one of our classmates to rip through a small white pages too. Mr. Belding from Saved by the Bell even made an appearance at my school.
I remember a lot of the people that came and spoke. So, why talk about this guy? I don’t remember his name or what his shtick was. I remember a few other bits of his speech about stereotypes and such but this is the quote that hit me. So what? Why am I sharing it with you now?
I’ve read it a few times, and you can google for some sources if you’d like, that your income will be very close the the average of the 5 people who you are the closest with. Is it an exact science, no. But I’ll bet it’s a pretty fair assessment unless you’re an outlier.
“It costs nothing to ask wise advise from a good friend…” – Bansir from The Richest Man of Babylon
You wouldn’t go to your Dentist for advise about a curious mole and you wouldn’t go to your CPA for advice on the proper way to raise orchids. You shouldn’t seek advice on how to succeed from those whom you don’t view as successful. Success is a lose term because it all depends on your paradigm but if you make $30,000 and want to make $90,000 it doesn’t make much sense to take the advise of the guy making $45,000. Find a mentor, or 5, and glean, glean, glean.
In High School I didn’t have bad friends but the main group of guys I was hanging out with weren’t guys I wanted to be like. I didn’t drink or party and they did. I sought out friends that had interests more in line with mine and who were more like what I wanted to be.
I’m not telling you to call up your 5 closest family members and friends and drop a Trump style ‘You’re Fired’ on them. What I am saying is that although Bansir is right that it costs nothing up front to ask the advice of a friend, bad advice can end up costing you a lot of time and money.
Chose your mentors wisely.
Originally posted at http://blog.tylerjorgenson.com/2011/01/tell-me-who-your-friends-are/
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